SHUT UP DURING THE MOVIE
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- Category: Blog
I Am Spartacus!
Let me tell you a little story about my recent visit to my local multiplex.
I'm sitting there trying to enjoy the film I paid $9.50 to see, and I begin to notice someone talking several rows behind me.
I try to let it slide, hoping it was a passing moment caused by spilled soda or something. The talk continued, though, at full volume. It was past the point of no return. I turned around, hoping a swift dose of my Look Of Death would pound them into silence.
What I saw, though, numbed my tongue.
It was some young idiot.
ON HIS CELL PHONE.
IN FULL VOICE.
IN THE THEATER.
DURING THE MOVIE.
If that wasn't bad enough, the dude saw my glare and had a look on his face that said, "Oops. I better keep it down."
NO, YOU IDIOT! KEEPING IT DOWN MEANS YOU ARE STILL TALKING. YOU SHOULDN'T BE TALKING ON THE PHONE AT THE MOVIES, BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE EXIST AND HAVE EARS AND PAID NINE-FIFTY TO SEE THIS FILM.
I wish this was the first time I've seen this, but it's not.
WHAT CAUSES PEOPLE TO DO THIS???
Whether or not it's talking with the stupid friends they brought with them to the theater, or to the stupid friend on the other end of the phone call, it's just rude and inconsiderate to have a conversation at your seat in the middle of a crowded movie theater.
I just don't see any way this could possibly be a hard concept to understand.
Are some people just born without any capacity for common sense?
Do they not remember spending NINE DOLLARS AND FIFTY CENTS to see the same movie?
Are they on the same planet?
Clearly, I'm angry about this. I know you are, too.
Yet it continues to happen, while nobody (including me) does anything about it for fear of making a scene.
The biggest crime is that we're all afraid to act. In order to stop stupidity like this we must become what we hate -- that jerk who doesn't shut up during the film.
Something must be done about this, though, and if we all work together, it isn't a hopeless cause. While we can't do much during the actual situation, there's plenty of things we can do to help spread the gospel of cinematic silence:
1) Get your friends to shut up during the movie. You may not have much influence over Joe Duh three aisles back, but you do with your friends. Don't let them bother other people. Shush them. Smack them if necessary.
2) Talk with other people about how annoying it is when people talk during the movie. Make it perfectly clear that people who talk are vile, awful sub-human beings. If enough of us share this opinion, people will begin to accept it as truth.
Remember, we're all in this together, and if we combine our efforts we can make a difference.
Be silent no longer!
Just during the movie.
