Do I Have a Life?

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Category: Blog

I just read a note on a few of my friends' Facebook accounts. It's one of those memes where people copy the content from another friend's note, leave the questions, and replace the answers with their own.

This one was a list of 240 films, ranging from Disney cartoons to VERY R-rated comedies. There's nothing terribly off-the-beaten path there, just a bunch of different films someone came up with (the list is below).

Now, I generally speaking have no problem with people filling out these questionnaires. They're silly, fun things to do when you have time on your hands and/or work you don't want to do. I personally don't do them often, but that's not because I'm particularly against them.

I do have a problem with this one, though.

The instructions for this meme begins with the following line:

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 85 films on this list, you have no life.

Wha??? Huh???

Back when I was in junior high, it was a big deal to say to someone, "You have no life!" It was the ultimate insult, meaning you had no friends, no social life, etc. It was a young kid's way of negating someone else's very existence.

Of course, nobody in junior high has a life. But that really didn't matter.

In high school, the phrase turned inward, and I heard people say, "God, I have no life!" This was usually said at a party to a group of friends. It was the teenage equivalent of standing in front of the fridge saying, "God, there's nothing to eat!" It's not so much that the fridge is empty, it's just that we think what we really want is somewhere else, somewhere cooler with a better body and no curfew.

The thing is, we all had pretty much the same life, and in our small town the list of things to do was pretty small. In my group of friends, the thing we usually ended up doing on a Friday or Saturday night was go to see a movie or rent a video.

You know, like the ones on that list.

Now that I'm married with a 7-month-old little girl in the house, I'd kill to have the option of going to the movies every week. We're lucky to have Netflix at this point, and actually watch the DVDs before we send them back. Getting to lay down on the couch with the lights off and a good movie to watch, I can't help but think, THIS IS THE LIFE.

So, I have to ask, where the hell does this meme get off telling me that watching movies somehow reflects on the quality and value of my life?

I've been watching movies for the last 30 years. Sure, when I was younger, it was a bigger thing because we didn't have VCRs and the TV stations only showed newer movies a couple of times a month.

But nowadays, you can easily knock off half of that list in a month, between cable, on-demand, DVDs, and downloadable media. 240 movies, at an average of 2 hours a film, is only 480 hours.

That's only 20 days worth of watching, my friend.

If you're, say, 30 years old, you've lived a total of 10,950 days. I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that if you've only ever spent a total of 20 of those days watching movies, you're doing a lot better than I am.

So, I'm officially changing this meme.

Here's a list of 240 movies. Some of them are awesome, all-time great movies you will definitely enjoy. Some of them are horrible, horrible pieces of trash that will probably make you stupid. The rest are somewhere in between. Go ahead and check off the ones you've seen, but sometime in the next 10,950 days, try and see some of the rest. Good, bad, or otherwise, they're not a bad way to spend a couple of hours of your life.

When you're done, you can go back to rescuing elephants or performing quadruple brain surgeries or inventing flying suits or whatever it is people do when they have a life.

( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Grease
( ) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest
( ) Boondock Saints
( ) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
( ) Neverending Story
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
Total:

( ) The Princess Bride
( ) Anchorman
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
( ) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
( ) 50 First Dates
( ) The Princess Diaries
( ) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
( ) Scream
( ) Scream 2
( ) Scream 3
( ) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
( ) Scary Movie 4
( ) American Pie
( ) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp
Total so far:

( ) Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
( ) Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
( ) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
( ) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
( ) Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
( ) Resident Evil 1
( ) Resident Evil 2
( ) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
( ) The Village
( ) Lilo & Stitch
Total so far:

( ) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) Signs
( ) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
( ) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
( ) 13 Going on 30
( ) I, Robot
( ) Robots
Total so far:

( ) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
( ) Universal Soldier
( ) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
( ) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
( ) Never Been Kissed
( ) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
( ) KING KONG
Total so far:

( ) A Cinderella Story
( )The Terminal
( ) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) Passport to Paris
( ) Dumb & Dumber
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
( ) Final Destination
( ) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
( ) Halloween (which one?)
( ) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
( ) Flubber
Total so far:

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
( ) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
( ) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
( ) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
( ) The Whole Nine Yards
( ) The Whole Ten Yards
Total so far:

( ) The Day After Tomorrow
( ) Child's Play
( ) Seed of Chucky
( ) Bride of Chucky
( ) Ten Things I Hate About You
( ) Just Married
( ) Gothika
( ) Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) Sixteen Candles
( ) Remember the Titans
( ) Coach Carter
( ) The Grudge
( ) The Grudge 2
( ) The Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask
Total so far:

( ) Bad Boys
( ) Bad Boys 2
( ) Joy Ride
( ) Lucky Number Slevin
( ) Ocean's Eleven
( ) Ocean's Twelve
( ) Bourne Identity
( ) Bourne Supremecy
( ) Lone Star
( ) Bedazzled
( ) Predator
( ) Predator II
( ) The Fog (which one?)
( ) Ice Age
( ) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
( ) Curious George
Total so far:

( ) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
( ) Darkness Falls
( ) Christine
( ) ET
( ) Children of the Corn
( ) My Bosses Daughter
( ) Maid in Manhattan
( ) War of the Worlds
( ) Rush Hour
( ) Rush Hour 2
Total so far:

( ) Best Bet
( ) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
( ) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
( ) Mars Attacks
( ) Event Horizon
( ) Ever After
( ) The Wizard of Oz
( ) Forrest Gump
( ) Big Trouble in Little China
( ) The Terminator
( ) T2
( ) Terminator 3 - Rise of the Machines
Total so far:

( ) X-Men
( ) X2
( ) X-Men 3 - The Last Stand
( ) Spider-Man
( ) Spider-Man 2
( ) Sky High
( ) Jeepers Creepers
( ) Jeepers Creepers 2
( ) Catch Me If You Can
( ) The Little Mermaid
( ) Freaky Friday
( ) Reign of Fire
( ) The Skulls
( ) Cruel Intentions
( ) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) The Hot Chick
( ) Shrek
( ) Shrek 2
Total so far:

( ) Swimfan
( ) Miracle on 34th street (which one?)
( ) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
( ) Krippendorf's Tribe
( ) A Walk to Remember
( ) Ice Castles
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old Virgin
Total so far:

( ) Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
( ) Lord of the Rings: Return Of the King
( ) Raiders of the Lost Ark
( ) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
( ) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
Total so far:

( ) Baseketball
( ) Hostel
( ) Waiting for Guffman
( ) House of 1000 Corpses
( ) The Devil's Rejects
( ) Elf
( ) Highlander
( ) Mothman Prophecies
( ) American History X
( ) Three
Total so Far:

( ) The Jacket
( ) Kung Fu Hustle
( ) Shaolin Soccer
( ) Night Watch
( ) Monsters Inc.
( ) Titanic
( ) Monty Python and the Holy Grail
( ) Shaun Of the Dead
( ) Willa74
Total so far:

( ) High Tension
( ) Club Dread
( ) Hulk
( ) Dawn Of the Dead
( ) Hook
( ) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
( ) 28 days later
( ) Orgazmo
( ) Phantasm
( ) Waterworld
Total so far:

( ) Kill Bill vol 1
( ) Kill Bill vol 2
( ) Mortal Kombat
( ) Wolf Creek
( ) Kingdom of Heaven
( ) The Hills Have Eyes (which one?)
( ) I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
( ) The Last House on the Left
( ) Re-Animator
( ) Army of Darkness
Total so far:

( ) Star Wars Ep. I - The Phantom Menace
( ) Star Wars Ep. II - Attack of the Clones
( ) Star Wars Ep. III - Revenge of the Sith
( ) Star Wars Ep. IV - A New Hope
( ) Star Wars Ep. V - The Empire Strikes Back
( ) Star Wars Ep. VI - Return of the Jedi
( ) Ewoks - Caravan Of Courage
( ) Ewoks - The Battle For Endor
Total so far:

( ) The Matrix
( ) The Matrix Reloaded
( ) The Matrix Revolutions
( ) Animatrix
( ) Evil Dead
( ) Evil Dead 2
( ) Team America: World Police
( ) Red Dragon
( ) Silence of the Lambs
( ) Hannibal

TOTAL: